Do Not Be The Stinky Guy at the Gym

Day 9 – I recently hit the store to buy a bunch of extra gym clothes. Elizabeth doesn’t like when I wash the clothes every night, so I decided to buy enough gym clothes to have clean shorts, shirts, underclothes and wraps for five days a week. Yes, that’s a lot of gym clothes, but you only have two choices – wash your clothes or have enough clean ones for every day. Wearing the same clothes two days is absolutely not an option. The gym makes you sweat. Sweat makes you stink. And you cannot be the stinky guy at the gym.

Here are a few gym etiquette rules from John Bridges’ How To Be a Gentleman:

• In the workout room, a gentleman does not hog the weights.

• If a gentleman tends to have athlete’s foot, he wears shower shoes at the gym.

• A gentleman may do what he pleases in his own shower, but he does not shave in the shower at the gym. He never takes another man’s towel.

• If a gentleman shaves at the health club, he always rinses out the sink.

• A gentleman knows that the gym is a place for working out, not merely a place for socializing, and certainly not a place for showing off.

A few more you should know:

• Don’t leave your weights lying around. Put them where you found them. If you found them on the floor, then the guy before you was a jerk and you should put them in their proper place.

• Don’t hog the machines. Do your sets and then move out of the way for the next person. Do not rest on the machines between your sets. That’s just a punk move. If you are working a cardio machine like a treadmill or an elliptical, get off after 30 minutes. You shouldn’t be training for a marathon on a treadmill anyway.

• While people should not hog the machines, their rudeness does not give you the right to be rude so don’t hover over machines or pressure people to get off.

• Don’t leave your sweat on machines. Would you want to lie in some fat dude’s armpit sweat? Wipe the machine when you’re finished.

• Don’t drop the weights, or worse, slam the weights down. I know you want to be king daddy big dog by slamming your weights on the ground after you squat 400 pounds, but it makes you look like a douche. Even worse, it could damage the equipment, the floor or the person you didn’t see standing beside you.

• It is okay to push, but don’t pressure other people. Everyone can use some encouragement and its okay to tell your buddy that he can make that last lift. But don’t pressure folks beyond their limits. They could end up seriously injured and it would be your fault.

• Don’t let other people around you get hurt. Sometimes folks put themselves in positions they shouldn’t have, either on purpose or accidentally. If you see some dude about to drop a barbell on his skull, go spot him.

• You may be deemed annoying if you start going around asking everyone if they need a spot, monopolizing their time. If you see someone who is in dire need of a spot, risking injury without one, only then should you offer your services.

• Get off your phone or the person beside you has a right to crush it with a 30-pound kettle bell. If you have an emergency, step out of the gym.

• Be kind, but don’t be a big mouth. Say hello, exchange pleasantries and then shut up. The gym is not a place to talk. Go to the bar for that. Chances are that you are annoying the heck out of someone.

•  Speaking of shutting up, don’t grunt, yell or bring attention to yourself. If you’re grunting, you’re lifting too much. Or, just begging for everyone to look at you. Douche!

• Again, the gym is not a bar. Most women don’t even want to be looked at, much less hit on while working out.

• Don’t curse. Why are you cursing so much anyway? Oh, that’s right… because it makes you cool. Go ahead Captain Cool Guy.

• Don’t swing your weights around. I’ve seen people nearly get their teeth knocked out or the jaw broke by idiots swinging around kettle bells and dumbbells. If your workout requires swing weights, such as the kettle bell swing, move to an area of the gym where no one else is working out.

• Don’t walk between people and the mirrors. Not everyone is flexing, checking out their own amazing body and blowing kisses at themselves. A lot of people use mirrors to ensure proper form.

• Don’t abuse the water fountain. If there is a line, move on quickly. Never spit in a water fountain. Or pee in one. Who does that? Nevermind.

• Quit playing with your junk. You’ve seen it and you might even be that guy. If you have to keep adjusting, something is wrong with your jock strap. Go buy a new one.

Most of this is commonsense, but as you know, commonsense isn’t so common these days. Don’t believe me? Just go to the gym.